I am 26 years old and growing up I always used to say kids weren't for me; obviously that feeling changed and about one year ago my husband and I decided we were ready to begin trying to conceive a child; it was exciting and carefree trying that first month; and we conceived it was the happiest day of my life when I saw the positive pregnancy test and I fell in LOVE instantly. On December 6, 2011 I went to see the heartbeat for the first time I was so nervous and worried that something would be wrong but I have always been a worrier and thought if I worried about the situation it would maybe prevent it from occuring (horrible logic I know). Well, this time worrying didn't keep it from happening and the nervous anticipation quickly went to nervous dread; when the ultrasound tech asked if I had any bleeding; I said no I have had absolutely no bleeding; she said she wasn't seeing what she should be and ran to get the dr; who confirmed it my baby had no cardiac activity my world shattered that day and having to instantly decide what to do next d&c or not was to much and the fact that no one can give you answers as to why makes the whole thing seem about 10 times worse if it can get any worse. All I know is that the tissue was tested for molar pregnancy and that no infection was found on the tissue so most likely chromosomal I guess? I have worked hard to get through those first rough, rough months and the due date but now that the one year mark is approaching I am really really struggling again. I feel so cheated and am so dreading having to put a brave face on at thanksgiving. Last year thanksgiving was so happy I was still blissfully pregnant and unaware of the nightmare that was about to begin. Is it normal to hurt this much a year later?? Any replies are greatly appreciated. I have also been trying to conceive since last June unsuccessfully and that is hard each month when my monthly enemy pays a visit. I am so sick of the up and down moods all the time in Oct I felt the best I had felt since the miscarriage.