My name is Tracey, and it's coming up on 3 years this October 19th. I haven't dealt with the pain it caused and now 3 years later I'm grieving like it just happened. I go to therapy each week and I have just now told her because it is eating away at my soul. I cry almost every day. She recommended letting a helium balloon go into the sky but I don't know if I can do it. It's like saying goodbye forever and making it even more real. I blame myself for the miscarriage even though logically it wasn't my fault. I just feel like something I could have done would have made things turn out better. My sister and I both found out we were pregnant within days of each other and I had my miscarriage, 2 days later she had hers. Only she got pregnant again right away and has a set of twins I help her take care of. It's so hard to see them sometimes, or to think of them. I compare how old my baby would be. So I guess what I am saying is I came here to help let some of this sadness out and get help from those who have had to deal with this horrible sadness before. How do you deal with the pain? I know I kept it inside for a long time but how do I manage it better?