I am 10 weeks pregnant and experiencing my 2nd missed miscarriage. The first one happened in 2010 when I was 29 years old. My husband and I have been together 12 years and have no children. We just bought a beautiful home that we would like to fill with one or two children. When we discovered it the first time I was 8 weeks pregnant and we went to the first ultrasound. We saw that the baby had not progressed past the 6th week, I had to have the D&S surgery. I had no symptoms that there was any problems, my body held onto the pregnancy. The worst part is those few days that you wait for the surgery, knowing that the baby inside you, that you already grew to love, isn't alive. God forbid you walk into someone you know during that time and they say "Hey, I heard you are pregnant." How do you respond? Technically, physically speaking yes you are still pregnant. It is such an awful pain and hurts so bad. After the surgery I took time to heal. We were not ready to try again right away. We discussed it regularly when would be a good time to try. In the meantime, I met with a nutritionalist, went to the gym, lost 30 pounds, saw a counselor for grief, and opened up about how I was feeling when I felt safe with family and friends. Last November we got pregnant again, we hadn't really been trying but decided that we would not try to prevent it from happening either....see what God has planned for us, you know? We were very happy, but knowing what happened before I felt very cautious. We decided not to tell anyone till after the 2nd ultrasound. I called the doctor and requested an ultrasound at 6 weeks and then every two weeks so we could keep an eye on it. My husband and I went in for the 1st ultrasound and were so thrilled when we saw that everything was ok, the baby had a good heartbeat even at 6 weeks! We let ourselves believe that this time would be different. We went in again at 8 weeks, the heartbeat was a strong 150 beats per minute and everything looked great.....we were so excited and ready to share the news with everyone and did. Then at 10 weeks, I started experiencing a very tiny bit of bleeding and called the doctor just to ease my mind. She said that it is perfectly normal in the first trimester. The tiny bit of blood stopped right away and I didn't see anything else for a couple of days. Today I had seen a tiny bit of blood again. I called the doctor and to ease my mind they scheduled me for an ultrasound right away. First she checked my cervix and saw that the blood was coming from my cervix and caused by it being more sensitive with pregnancy but was not linked to the baby. Then we did the ultrasound, there was no heartbeat anymore, it was gone. The baby measured at 8 weeks and 3 days, died shortly after the last ultrasound. In tears I scheduled the D&S surgery for Monday. Without my husband there I drove myself home trying to hold back from hysterical crying so I could drive safely. The pain of everything happening again is so hard. Having to tell everyone again and now is something wrong with me. The innocence that comes with pregnancy is gone from me, once you realize how fragile everything is, how do you ever enjoy it? Next time I get pregnant, how will I share the news without someone saying to me "Let's wait and see."? Everything is plagued with uncertainty and doubt. The confusing thing is why does my body hold onto the pregnancy? Why does it still act like nothing is wrong? If I had warning signs or if the baby would just leave my body on it's own I wouldn't have to go through the period of not knowing something is wrong and then the period between pregnancy and not. My husband is so wonderfully supportive and I love him so much, I know he is hurting and confused too. We are working on letting this make us stronger, I just don't want to have my heart broken again like this.