That u/s tech was a @%!!% to you!! OMG!
I've found that unless a woman has experienced this for herself, she does not understand. The same goes for men. Our doctor explained to the both of us that this will affect me so much more than my boyfriend b/c I experienced the pregnancy, already had the bond. He didn't. It made sense to us, but he still didn't understand. He still told me to just let it go, to stop holding on to something I can't fix. Its just not that easy.
I had the same experience with the D&C as you. It was like even though they supposedly got everything out, I still went through the miscarriage a few days later. The cramps were AWFUL, vicodin didn't even dull the pain. Make sure you go to all your check ups afterward. They should be checking you for infection and checking to see that your hcg horomone levels are dropping properly. If not, you should find a new doctor. Its tough going to all those appointments knowing that you are no longer going for the same reason but it is necessary to ensure your health and your ability to have children in the future.
As for your boyfriend, give him time. He is, at some level, experiencing some grief. This affected my boyfriend much more than he would let on to me. I never even saw him cry, while I balled my eyes out for days. One night we finally sat down and had a talk about it..which helped me understand him...it was just like the doctor said it would be for him- not exactly real...for him it wasn't like grieving over an actual person..it was grieving over the idea of a person..which makes sense in a way..Don't get me wrong, we fought ALOT more than normal after this happened..things are only just recently getting back to normal between us...If he doesn't come around maybe he's not the one for you...idk...but don't give up right away, these things take lots of time to get over. We found out about our missed miscarriage on Jan 5...I'm still hurting. Don't feel guilty or wrong for being upset still, its normal.
In my opinion, you are a mom. You have two angels in heaven. Come here as often as you need. It helps to get your feelings out to women who have been there and understand when no one else seems to.