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Re: New to the site, need some support
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trixie64
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Apr 24 09 2:01 AM
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Hi Jessica and Trish,
Unfortunately I'm not a good role model for this site in terms of success after a miscarriage - it took us 9 years to finally get pregnant and after the loss we decided to not try again due to our ages (I'm 44, dh is 50) and the risk of special needs children. So last year we dealt with the loss of miscarriage and for me, the complete and utter loss of motherhood. But I'm a rarity and I only know of one other woman in my situation so odds are good that success will be yours.
Both of you have expressed fear of another pregnancy which is so very common. There's a wonderful blog that I follow of a woman who is going through infertility and she's posted a poignant entry on how she feels during pregnancy since she's experienced so many miscarriages - it's at
http://sharonvw.wordpress...pect-when-im-expecting/.
Her postings and the comments to them will help and let you feel less alone.
The first six months after a miscarriage are so very emotional, then there's a bit of a lull, then as the due date approaches it becomes a big deal again. Other things will trigger emotions such as friends and family's births and pregnancy announcements. Some drs say to start ttc again right away and others say to wait a few months. It tends to be more how the woman responds psychologically to the loss and I would bet that it would be a 50:50 split here on women who wait a bit to allow the grief to pass and women who start right away as a way of dealing with the grief. It's a very individual choice and there is no right or wrong answer. Do what feels right for you and give yourself time to mourn. Recognize that many of these feelings are transient and they don't dictate how you'll feel six months from now or a week from now or even an hour from now. Just because you're having the feelings doesn't mean you have to act on them (we don't run people off the road even though we sometimes have the urge to). Jessica's right, it has to be a one day at a time approach.
Huge hugs, warmth, and love to both of you.
Sandy
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