Trish,
It sounds like you and I deal with things similarly, only I tend to shop instead of cook. I went on a horrible spending spree after my miscarriage that took us a couple of months to catch up from. I also tend to hide my emotions as much as I can. For a long time, not even my husband knew that I was crying myself to sleep nearly every night. He works late, so he wasn't home when I was going to bed. He now knows the extent of my struggles, so that has helped some.
As for getting pregnant again...my doctor wanted to immediately put me on Clomid (a fertility drug) in the hopes of getting me pregnant again as soon as possible. I refused because I was just not emotionally ready to even think about being pregnant again. Last month, I got to a point of actually telling my husband that I just wanted to be done. I wanted to either go on birth control or have him go in for a vasectomy because I felt like I could not move on while still thinking about getting pregnant again. I did recognize that this was more of a control thing for me. Making the decision to be done put me in control and the lack of control over this part of my life drives me insane. About two weeks after that, we decided instead to seek out fertility help. Since we had been trying for three years and then had a miscarriage, we are looking at secondary infertility. We had our consultation today, and I came out of it completely overwhelmed and not at all sure that I want to move forward. I am absolutely terrified of getting pregnant again because I have handled this miscarriage so poorly. I don't think I could possibly handle another one. And, I know that this has robbed me of the joy of pregnancy. If I do end up pregnant again, it will be with constant questions about whether or not the baby will survive. I won't want to tell people for fear of having to tell them about another miscarriage. I have heard from friends who have miscarried and then gone on to have a healthy baby that this is normal. However, today before my appointment, I was talking to my husband and I realized that I don't want that fear to take away the joy of pregnancy. I loved being pregnant both times, even though the second was only for eight weeks. I told people that I was the happiest nauseous woman ever and it was true. Our fears really are in our control. I think I am realizing that I will just have to take one day at a time. I have no idea where I will go with the fertility treatments. So, I guess for right now, my husband and I aren't actively trying but aren't preventing, and I am hoping and dreading all at the same time another pregnancy. It is such a mix of emotions.
I know there is not really any advice here because I really have some of the same questions as you. I do hope that you will be able to enjoy your next pregnancy though because it should be a happy time, not so full of anxiety.

Jessica