Hi,

All of the emotions that you're going through are perfectly normal. I, too, used to be a happy person but I found the miscarriage changed all that. I also found that many of my feelings were delayed and they ebbed and flowed. It was tough not knowing when I was actually through something because as soon as I thought I had dealt with it something would bring it to the front again.

I also found that when I had too much time to myself it was much tougher and sometimes if I were travelling by myself in a car I'd be a basket case by the time I got to where I was going if it were too long a drive.

My lifelines were people that had experienced what I was going through. This site was definitely one of my lifesavers because all sorts of women frequent it and you start to realize that a miscarriage isn't unique to someone's social situation, how badly they wanted or didn't want the baby, or anything at all. It just is, and it sucks big time. We all react differently but grief and loneliness seem to be common elements.

But you're not alone here, there are others. It does get easier but it'll take longer and be harder than you think it will. My sister's baby was born only six weeks after mine would have been and that's still tough to deal with now and then, expect your friend's pregnancy to make it a little more difficult for you. Jealousy and difficulty feeling happy are so very common. My doctor and grief counsellor said not to push it and if a baby shower felt too difficult, then not to do it.

Big hugs, sad welcome, and open arms any time you need it. We seem to be somewhat of a quiet board at the moment but as one of the moderators I check daily and will try to answer questions or support emotions as much as I can.

Sandy