Hello Shelly,
My heart goes out to you. I had a miscarriage five years ago and have not been able to successfully get pregnant since. Right now my fiance is not ready to have a baby so there is not trying for me either. I remember going through much of the same things you are going through. Me and my now ex-husband had picked out numerous things for the Baby Gift Registry at Target. My Dad who I hadn't talked to in a long time had bought loads of clothes for the Baby, And my Mom had been so excited plus my now ex-mother-in-law had started to like me. Everything felt right and I got books upon books of everything I could expect being pregnant and bringing a baby home. And then suddenly nothing. We had gone in to hear the heartbeat for the first time and nothing. I asked if it was normal and he said sometimes but if we aren't able to hear it next time we'll need to do some tests to see if the baby is still ok. A couple days later I miscarried. I felt like no one cared. I met with my Doctor after I left the hospital and he said that 50 percent of woman miscarry their first pregnancy. I wanted to scream at him. Ask him way he didn't tell me this in the first place. He told me I had a blighted ovum, where the baby doesn't develop at all, just the sac develops. I was so upset. Then he said that the sac would pass normally. I was still in shock and didn't even think to ask if it was going to hurt. What I should expect when it passes or anything. I remember I bled so much and that scared me to death and then I passed it and had to take it into the doctor so that they could do some tests to confirm what they had already told me. I was in excruciating pain and nothing worked. I finally went to the doctor that day and they removed the rest of the sac and the pain immediately stopped. It is a very devastating thing to go through. It took so much energy from me. I wanted nothing more than to be pregnant and to be told you are and then you aren't can really break you. To this day I never forget everything that happend in the three days of hell I went through. I just wish someone had told me how common it is and how much it hurts and had pointed me towards a group like this one sooner that could've helped me deal with the loss I went through. I am so glad that I found this group. Many blessings and peace to all.

Elle